Back to Braces

When I was a kid I had terrible teeth.  Big overbite and pretty snaggle-y.  So braces it was.  I started braces in about 5th grade.  I was about 10.  I went on to wear them for a solid 4 years.  FOUR YEARS!  It was torture.  I was the girl in class with the awkward headgear.  Braces hurt physically but maybe even worse was the teasing from classmates.

Fast forward almost 30 years.  My teeth are crazy again!  I hardly wore my retainer as a kid since it was just such an awful time and my teeth really paid the price.  I've been thinking of venturing back into the world of braces for years but could hardly bring myself to endure the pain.  So I started thinking of Invisalign.  I thought it would be a better option as an adult.  So I researched, and thought, and thought some more.  It's actually been a few years now, and I finally decided to go for it!

So after all the pesky details and months of getting all my broken fillings fixed and getting my teeth cleaned, it was time to do the scan!  Pretty cool too! The one thing I was dreading was the making of the mold of my mouth.  But with the aligners they take a machine and scan all your teeth and make a 3D model!  They can project out and show you what the finished project will look like!

So week one was just getting used to the aligners.  Taking them in and out every single time I eat.  Brushing every time.  I have to leave them in at least 22 hours a day so that leaves little time to eat or snack.

Week 2 they put these little attachments all over my teeth in key spots.  They are tooth colored so people don't notice too much but it helps holding the aligners in place and getting the pressure right so my teeth will move!  So it was a little more of an adjustment taking them in and out.  But I'm getting used to it.

So we are week 3 now.  I change the aligners every week. I get 6 weeks at a time from the dentist when I go in to see him.

I've got about a year to go with this process.

I'm sure I will like the ending but it's the getting there that's hard.  Taking them out to eat.  Brushing my teeth 4 times a day.  Not really being able to snack because it's such a pain to take them out and brush. Teeth that are painful.  These are just a few of the inconveniences at the moment but sometimes things worth doing are hard.

So here's to the next year!

On nagging and trusting

So, I like to control things.  I like to micromanage.  I like to "make sure" it gets done "right".  Well, I should say, that is my tendency.  That's what my default is.  That's what I struggle against.

My way is not always the right way.  My timing is not always the best timing.  Even though I think it might be...other people have other ways of doing things.

This especially comes into view with my husband. He is completely and totally opposite of me.  He's spontaneous.  He's loud and gregarious.  He thinks outside of the box (does he even have a box??)  He's unscheduled and un-traditional.  Completely unconventional in a lot of ways.

So many times in our marriage I've had to bite my tongue and let him do it "his way".  Well, it didn't start off that way.  But I have learned that nagging ...(cough**telling**cough) him what to do is pretty much never the way to get things done.  In fact, if I am the boss and directing him, then I'm not really trusting him am I? 

Hubby has worked contract jobs for years and with contract it's feast or famine.  When he comes home to tell me "I've got good news and bad news".  My heart gets to pounding, my brain starts to worrying.  How will we survive without a job?  What will happen?  But I know now to just trust him to take care of us.  I don't need to "check" in on him and see how any resumes he has sent out or how many calls he has made today.  I trust him.  I believe he wants the best for me and our family.  I trust that he has prepared a backup plan for different scenarios.  Nagging does not do a thing.

I recently read an excellent book called The Empowered Wife.  In it she lists 4 questions that really help in these situations where I want or "need" to say something.  It basically all boils down to fear.

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Is my fear realistic?
3. Can I actually control the situation?
4. Is it worth the intimacy it would cost to control it?

It's that fourth one that gets me.  Is it worth the intimacy?  Do I want to become his mom in telling him how and when to do things?  Probably not.

Now I 'm not saying we can't talk about things and he doesn't reassure me with the plan in different situations.  We do talk.  We come up with ideas together.  He loves my input and my ideas!  We work as a team for sure.  But I trust him to be the leader.  I trust his decisions.  Just as he trusts me.

These questions work wonders not only for husband and wife relationships but for any relationship really!  Relationships with my grown up kids is a great example! Friendships, other family relationships, you name it..if I'm worried about something or thing I need to nag or control..I can always go back to those questions.

Proverbs 2:19 "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." 

Proverbs 21:9 "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

I want to be a joy to my husband, friends, & kids!  Nobody wants to hang around a nagging quarrelsome person.

Birthday time!

My 47th birthday is in just a few days!   Forty seven!  How can that be?  That's pretty close to 50!  Yikes!  Time just speeds up the older we get.  Feels like sledding down a hill, so much fun and having a blast but it just goes way too fast!

So as time keeps marching on, it's good to reflect on things I've learned along the journey.

Here's just a few thoughts:

Tomorrow is always a new day.  No matter how bad it seems or how dark things get, tomorrow morning comes and a new day begins.  A new day brings new perspective and things don't always seem as bad as they did in the middle of the night.

When I'm feeling blue, I like to go sit or stand or walk in the sun.  It's so relaxing and refreshing to get some Vitamin D!  It seems to lift my spirits too.

My health is important.  What I eat, and put into my body determines the future of my body.  I need to spend the time to research and then put into practice  the things that will benefit my brain and body.

Most things don't matter.  Really, do I need to say anything to this person or that.  What is really important.  Most things aren't life altering.  There are very few things that are.  Before I open my mouth, or react or type out a comment I need to ask myself--does this really matter.  Chances are it doesn't.

Seizing the moment.  What's more important?  that tv show? cleaning that kitchen? or spending time with my kids or friends or loved ones?  The days are fleeting and times go so quickly.  The nest is empty now, and gone are the days of sitting on the floor playing with the kiddos (although I'm psyched about being a grandma and enjoying those grandkids!!)   Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!  Enjoy the moment.  Be in the moment.  I don't need to try and "post" every single thing or take a million pictures or always be thinking of what I need to do...I just need to enjoy the moment.

My relationship with God is the most important thing I can cultivate while here on earth.  If I'm going to spend eternity with my Creator it is important that I get to know Him now.  He is the only one that can hold me and never lets me down.  He is the Rock.  I need to use my time and energy wisely when it comes to reading His Word and talking to Him.

As much as an Eeyore as I am,  you still gotta have fun!    No matter what all needs to be done during the day, you have to take time out to have some fun!  For me that's hooping, or walking, or enjoying a cup of coffee or tea, reading a book, going to see a play, playing a board game with my hubby.  If you just go and work and accomplish all day every day --then life gets to be a drag.  Dance like no one is watching (even if they are who cares!)  Be a kid and enjoy!  This is the day the Lord has made! Rejoice!

So that's a few thoughts on this journey of life so far.  What about you?  What all have you learned?  What words of wisdom would you like to pass on to others?  Comment below!

The beauty of a vacation

Ah....a vacation.   A breath of new air.  A reset.   A change of scenery.  Time away.  Getting out of the rut. 

These are the things I love about a vacation. 

We just got back from a fabulous 8 day Caribbean cruise with 4 other couples and it was amazing.

Beautiful beaches.  Dancing and music every night.  Lots of laughter.  Doesn't get much better.

I love getting away.  Sometime the daily drudgery gets to me and it's so nice just to get out of it and do something else.

It doesn't have to be a great big vacation either.  Just something different.  Somewhere different.  It breathes new life into me.

But if you haven't taken a cruise before, I highly recommend it!  It can be pretty inexpensive (although they will try to sell you something at every point!) but you really can't beat it.  The food!  The places you see!  The entertainment is even pretty good.

Getting out in the sun and salt water is so therapeutic too. Just sitting and relaxing. Ahhhh.... love it!

So plan a trip!  get out and see the world!  As for me, I'm just getting back to reality today and dreaming of the ocean.

The one sided friendship

Aren't friendships supposed to be two ways?  Isn't that the very nature of a relationship.  Sometimes you give, sometimes you receive.  Sometimes you need help, sometimes you give help.  Conversations swing back and forth.  You talk, they listen.  They talk, you listen.  This is how a relationship works.

Sometimes you need more.  Sometimes they need more.

But the point is that it should be mutual. A two way street!!

When it's one sided, it gets very draining.  If the person is always dominating the conversation, or if they are always turning it back onto themselves, then it's one-sided. When the "friend" is constantly talking about themselves and rarely asks about you, then it's one-sided.

The thing is a person has many sides! There's so much depth and emotion and personality to people!  Why only focus on yourself in a friendship??

How do you truly get to know someone?  Ask them questions.  And then listen to the answers.  Ask related questions to their answers.  Dig deeper.  Truly listen.  Don't just think about what you will say or a great story you have related to what they are saying.  Listen to their words and listen to the emotion behind their words.

One sided friendships are tedious. They drain the life out of the other person.  People want to be filled up and poured into. People want 2 way relationships.

I try to be conscious of how I interact with people.  Am I interested in them?  Have I asked about their day?  How can I be of help to them?

And then when I need help, I can ask others.  When I need a word of encouragement, I can ask.

One way streets are often dead ends.

I want to be in friendships that give and take. Ones that help, encourage and go 2 ways.

So how are your friendships?  Do you take too much?  Do you give back?  Are you too giving and never ask anything in return?  These are the questions we need to ask ourselves. 
God made us to need each other.  And that's a good thing.

When it rains, it pours

My oh my! We are only 8 weeks into 2018 and already there's just been so much.  When it rains it pours, for sure. And it's literally been raining in the Dallas area for weeks now with no end in sight.

Maybe it's because I tend to be an Eeyore, but this year has just been a lot to handle thus far.
It started off with Larry and I both getting very sick.  It really put us under for almost a month!  In the midst of that my mom passed away.

Then I got a mysterious rash on my elbow that grew suddenly!  I had to go to urgent care for that one.

Oh, and there was a flat tire on the entrance ramp to the highway one morning on my way to work! Fun times for sure.

So then, Larry will probably have to have surgery on a torn muscle in his arm.  He hurt it last year and even through months of physical therapy and lots of tlc, it is still causing him a lot of pain.

And then we almost lost Larry's mom.  She was (and still is) pretty sick, was hospitalized and is now in need of getting some full time care.

We are navigating these new waters as we look at our options and see what's available.
Meanwhile, family members are all pitching in and helping take care of this Godly woman who has poured her life into so many people.
It's new territory.
It's a lot to take in.
Praying that the Lord will guide us with each new step.
And I pray that this year gets a lot lighter.
Maybe I should learn to dance in the rain.

Stuff

So, the issue of stuff is on my mind as of late.  You know, our beloved household belongings that somehow multiply over night it seems.  Where does all this stuff come from?  How is it taking over the house? and the garage and every single closet!

Well, I'm a big fan of cleaning out the clutter!  To some people it comes naturally, others have to work on it, and unfortunately some people just never get it.

But the question comes to mind, and the thing I've been thinking about lately is being a burden to my kiddos after I die.  Who is going to have to come in and clean stuff out to sell the place etc?  My kids! It's already such a burden to deal with funeral arrangements, close accounts, etc etc.

So how, you may ask, do we keep the clutter down and not leave such a burden of STUFF to our kiddos?

Well, here's a few things I do to keep the clutter under control:

When I buy something new I try to get rid of at least 2 other things.
I always have a bag ready to add to for donation to a thrift store etc.

If you are completely overwhelmed, start with a drawer.  Dump everything out on the table or some place where you have room to work.  Clean out the drawer and decide what exactly you want to use the drawer for.  Then put only the things back that fit into that category.  Whatever is left, you will need to decide if it goes into another place or if you can give it away.

Ask yourself these questions:
Have I used this in the last year?
Do I have something else that will suffice for the use of this item?
Is it costing me more to store it in my house than if I could go buy one? (your home is so much $ per square feet--how much room does the object take up in your square footage?)
Would I use this in the next year?
Am I saving this "Just because I might need it"?
Might I really need this at all?
Do I want to leave this for my kids to go through?  And will they want it? (don't assume--ask them!and then don't be offended if they don't want it.  It was important to you but may not be to them and that's ok)

Next, you can do a closet! Then a room!  Then the garage!

In all our moves, I've paired down, sorted things and given lots away.  One question I always ask myself is "If I had to pack this in a Uhaul, haul it across the country, unpack it --would I still want it when I got there".   That has actually been a good measurement to the things I really like.

So, how about it?  Spring is just around the corner.  Spring cleaning anyone??