What's Love got to do with it?

There's a secret to marriage.

It's something we figured out in that first really messy year.

It's what Love truly is.

That first year we were married was tough.  I was only 18 and really didn't know anything about anything.  Larry was 25 and he had certain ways he thought marriage would be like.  We had a hard time meshing our lives together at first.

Until we had a conversation about what Love is.

Larry, in his typical analytical fashion, wrote out a definition for Love and it's helped us out in so many ways.

Here it is:  There's 3 kinds of "Love".

First, is the "Commitment Love".  This is the foundation of the marriage.  It's the -I will never leave you or forsake you -you are stuck with me till I die--kind of love.  Even when everything else is just the worst-- the commitment love remains.  It's what keeps us working on the marriage.  It's what keeps us reading books, going to retreats, learning from others, going to counseling.  If you don't have a commitment then the rest just crumbles.

Second is the "Friendship Love".  This is the fun part of marriage! This is the --You're my best friend kind of love!  This is the part of marriage that is going on walks, geocaching, watching the rain together, reading books together, playing games together.  We enjoy each other's company!  We love to spend time with each other.  This is the majority of the marriage.  It's the time we spend together and the friendship that grows out of that. It's the taking care of each other when we are sick, when we need gas in our cars, when we just need a shoulder to cry on.

Lastly, is the -what we like to call- the "Woozy Woozy Love".  This is the love that everyone thinks about when they are getting married. This is the love that always portrayed in the movies.  It's the butterflies in the stomach, starry eyes, fireworks and butterflies love.  Yes, this is a part of marriage but it's not something we build our foundation on.  These feelings come and go.  They are wonderful and I love that "woozy woozy" feeling!  But as our marriage grows, these feelings grow so much deeper.  It's so much more now than just a feeling.

If you are always staying in the "Woozy Woozy" Love, then when that feeling isn't there you might feel like your marriage isn't there anymore.  That's where the "Commitment Love" comes in.  That will always be there.  No matter if either of the other two kinds of love are there or not--the commitment is always there.

This is what we learned in the first year of our marriage.  We are working on year 27 now!

So thankful for you Larry.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."