Back to Braces

When I was a kid I had terrible teeth.  Big overbite and pretty snaggle-y.  So braces it was.  I started braces in about 5th grade.  I was about 10.  I went on to wear them for a solid 4 years.  FOUR YEARS!  It was torture.  I was the girl in class with the awkward headgear.  Braces hurt physically but maybe even worse was the teasing from classmates.

Fast forward almost 30 years.  My teeth are crazy again!  I hardly wore my retainer as a kid since it was just such an awful time and my teeth really paid the price.  I've been thinking of venturing back into the world of braces for years but could hardly bring myself to endure the pain.  So I started thinking of Invisalign.  I thought it would be a better option as an adult.  So I researched, and thought, and thought some more.  It's actually been a few years now, and I finally decided to go for it!

So after all the pesky details and months of getting all my broken fillings fixed and getting my teeth cleaned, it was time to do the scan!  Pretty cool too! The one thing I was dreading was the making of the mold of my mouth.  But with the aligners they take a machine and scan all your teeth and make a 3D model!  They can project out and show you what the finished project will look like!

So week one was just getting used to the aligners.  Taking them in and out every single time I eat.  Brushing every time.  I have to leave them in at least 22 hours a day so that leaves little time to eat or snack.

Week 2 they put these little attachments all over my teeth in key spots.  They are tooth colored so people don't notice too much but it helps holding the aligners in place and getting the pressure right so my teeth will move!  So it was a little more of an adjustment taking them in and out.  But I'm getting used to it.

So we are week 3 now.  I change the aligners every week. I get 6 weeks at a time from the dentist when I go in to see him.

I've got about a year to go with this process.

I'm sure I will like the ending but it's the getting there that's hard.  Taking them out to eat.  Brushing my teeth 4 times a day.  Not really being able to snack because it's such a pain to take them out and brush. Teeth that are painful.  These are just a few of the inconveniences at the moment but sometimes things worth doing are hard.

So here's to the next year!

On nagging and trusting

So, I like to control things.  I like to micromanage.  I like to "make sure" it gets done "right".  Well, I should say, that is my tendency.  That's what my default is.  That's what I struggle against.

My way is not always the right way.  My timing is not always the best timing.  Even though I think it might be...other people have other ways of doing things.

This especially comes into view with my husband. He is completely and totally opposite of me.  He's spontaneous.  He's loud and gregarious.  He thinks outside of the box (does he even have a box??)  He's unscheduled and un-traditional.  Completely unconventional in a lot of ways.

So many times in our marriage I've had to bite my tongue and let him do it "his way".  Well, it didn't start off that way.  But I have learned that nagging ...(cough**telling**cough) him what to do is pretty much never the way to get things done.  In fact, if I am the boss and directing him, then I'm not really trusting him am I? 

Hubby has worked contract jobs for years and with contract it's feast or famine.  When he comes home to tell me "I've got good news and bad news".  My heart gets to pounding, my brain starts to worrying.  How will we survive without a job?  What will happen?  But I know now to just trust him to take care of us.  I don't need to "check" in on him and see how any resumes he has sent out or how many calls he has made today.  I trust him.  I believe he wants the best for me and our family.  I trust that he has prepared a backup plan for different scenarios.  Nagging does not do a thing.

I recently read an excellent book called The Empowered Wife.  In it she lists 4 questions that really help in these situations where I want or "need" to say something.  It basically all boils down to fear.

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Is my fear realistic?
3. Can I actually control the situation?
4. Is it worth the intimacy it would cost to control it?

It's that fourth one that gets me.  Is it worth the intimacy?  Do I want to become his mom in telling him how and when to do things?  Probably not.

Now I 'm not saying we can't talk about things and he doesn't reassure me with the plan in different situations.  We do talk.  We come up with ideas together.  He loves my input and my ideas!  We work as a team for sure.  But I trust him to be the leader.  I trust his decisions.  Just as he trusts me.

These questions work wonders not only for husband and wife relationships but for any relationship really!  Relationships with my grown up kids is a great example! Friendships, other family relationships, you name it..if I'm worried about something or thing I need to nag or control..I can always go back to those questions.

Proverbs 2:19 "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." 

Proverbs 21:9 "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

I want to be a joy to my husband, friends, & kids!  Nobody wants to hang around a nagging quarrelsome person.