Retirement

I’m a structured, goal oriented person. I like routine and knowing what is happening on what day and  at what time. 

I’m married to the exact opposite type of person. He is spontaneous, spur of the moment, fly by the seat of your pants person.

He’s good for me and I’m good for him. I’ve learned to be spontaneous and he’s learned to be structured (somewhat!)

My whole life has been pretty routine so far. I went from school, to being married, having kids, homeschooling, then working.

Now I’m retired. Right now, I have somewhat of a schedule going to the grandkids 2-3 days a week. But I’m struggling with what to do on the other days. We will be leaving in the fall and I’ll have every day free then. 

I’m usually a good manager of my time. I volunteer or manage my household or minister in some way. 

But for some reason. I’m struggling now. Maybe it’s because I know we won’t be in a place for very long (rv life is awesome by the way) or maybe it’s just because I’m older? Or tired? 

I really don’t know. But this stage of life is strange. I am loving the flexibility of it and the relaxing part. 

But I don’t really want to have a job again. 

I want to be available to my kids and grandkids and hubby.

But what to do on the daily. I have no idea.

Pray for me as I’m in this transition!

The number one rule of womanhood

 The number one rule of womanhood is you never ever ever ask a woman if she's pregnant.  NEVER.  I mean, even if the baby is coming out...don't even hint at it!

We were hiking yesterday and I let this lady ahead of me.  I said "Go ahead, I'm slower".  She said "You're pregnant right?"  

😕😟😠😭😡😢😱

Larry quickly said, no but we have 4 grandkids!  HA!

So the rest of the hike, that's all I could think about.   I eat really good, I exercise every stinking day.  I close all my rings on my apple watch so faithfully.  I guess I could use the excuse everyone else is using right now...pandemic??  I really don't know. I've gained a few pounds but geezzzzzz.

You see, I've birthed 3 kids (granted it was 24 years ago-but still).  That poochy belly is my badge of honor.  It reminds me of the amazing body that God has created.  My body stretched to an enormous size.  And out of that misshapen body, I now have my 3 beautiful grown adult kids now and now my grandkids!

That pooch shows me that I'm not perfect.  I still have work to do.

That pooch reminds me to watch what I eat and to keep on exercising.

But this is my body.  

Words hurt.  I've dealt with hurtful words my whole life.

Words can also change someone's life for the better.

So women,  if you feel the need to say something to another woman, please just say "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

Or "I Love your hair today!"

Or anything along those lines.   You have no idea where someone is in their journey.  Having babies makes crazy bodies.  But they are beautiful.

Let's be an encouragement to one another at all times.  But especially now.

Toughest job out there

I've only had a few jobs in my lifetime.  Waitress, admin assistant, retail, and at a cookie store at the mall.  But by far the toughest job I've ever had- being a mom.

It's the job that never ends.

When they are little, you are on 24/7.  It's physically exhausting.  There's the sleep deprivation and a fog of diapers, poop and feeding.  That fog does eventually lift onto a rush of toddlerhood with all it's flurry of activity and learning and talking!  The talking!

We homeschooled, so there was so much laughter, learning, and endless conversations during the school years.

Learning to gradually let go and give them freedom as they get older, is probably the hardest thing of parenting.  Letting them fail, giving them the tools to be responsible, knowing when to step in and when to step back.  It's all very daunting.  But equally rewarding. 

Seeing your kids go from this teeny tiny little one that fits in one arm- to becoming parents themselves is completely awe-inspiring.

You'd think that now that they are all grown and have left the house and have families and careers all their own, that my mom job would be over.  And the physical part of it is. 

Now I'm navigating the road of seeing my kids becoming parents.  How much to say, to help, what not to say, when not to help.  How to encourage, how to support.  How to be the grandparent and not the parent.

It's a whole other level of greatness.

When you're a mom, you're a mom for life.  The job doesn't end.  There's no 8-5, no sick time, hardly any breaks,  even when you are on vacation-you are thinking about them.

A mom to adult kids is a weird stage of life.  It's rewarding, challenging, and sometimes very raw.  I still cry over them.  Still pray over them.  I love them.  And now my heart expands as they marry and have kids.  It keeps expanding..which is a blessing.

I trust God will guide and direct them.  I pray they will trust God to do that.  I pray the things we've taught them will help them.  I pray they will learn from our mistakes as parents.  I pray they will teach me how to love them and their kids.

It's a job that never ends.  And I love it.

Times they are a changin'

This year has been a whirlwind year!  There's been so much happening!

First of all, I became a GRANDMA!!!  How fun and exciting is that! I'm really looking forward to this stage of life.  The empty nest is great and having my time with hubby is fabulous but grandkids!! That brings a whole other level of fun!

Secondly,  my son is getting married!  I will have 2 grown kids that are married!!  What?!  The Lord is so good to provide such wonderful spouses for my kids.  I'm so happy to experience my grown kids in this new stage of life!  My son will be a wonderful husband (and dad sometime!! AH!) and it's so exciting to see this newlywed couple and their new love!

Thirdly,  we are moving AGAIN!!!  Ok this is about the 14th time we have moved in our 27 years of marriage.  See this post here about that.    But this time is gonna be so cool!  It has always been a dream of mine to move to Europe.  To live in a high rise and be able to walk down the street for groceries, coffee, shops and restaurants.  I have always loved living near parks and water and especially looking at the greenery.  Although we aren't moving to Europe just yet.... (you never know what the future holds!)  my hubby has found me the next best thing here in Texas!  It's a condo in a high rise building overlooking a canal!  Pictures will be coming for sure!

I'm really looking forward to what this year will bring.  The Lord is gracious and loving.  Even though sometimes life is like a roller coaster, I can trust that the Lord is good and is faithful.

I never want to portray my life as only the good and only good things happen to me.  I have my ups and downs just like everyone else.   But this roller coaster ride of life is taking a fun turn this year!  I'm holding on tight, raising my hands and seeing what the Lord will do.

Free and super cheap date night ideas!

Going on dates with your spouse is so important!  We can get caught up in the daily monotony of life. Day in and day out the same things.  Especially when the kids are little, it's easy to slip into "crisis" mode and completely forget who you are married to!

I highly encourage you to make your marriage a priority!  Marriage is a constant act of work.  It takes a lot of effort to maintain closeness.  You must be intentional in your efforts to connect with each other.

That's why we have always tried to fit in date nights!  Even when all our kids were little we would trade babysitting with another couple so that we could have some alone time together.

Date nights don't have to cost a lot of money either!  In fact, a lot of the times it can be free!

Just a few ideas for date nights (We've done all these!!)

Go for a walk

Play a board game together

Read a book out loud to each other

Go to the book store and look through books together

Geocaching!

Take a Sunday drive though country roads

Make up a scavenger hunt and have your spouse look for stuff!

Go to a coffee shop and people watch

Work a puzzle together

Find out the free days at your local museum

Have a picnic at the park

Turn up the music and have a dance party in the living room

Memorize Scripture together

Plan a trip somewhere

Find out when the moon rise will be and pick a place to go see it

Lay out sleeping bags in an open field and watch for shooting stars
Go fly kites in the park

Go share one dessert and coffee at a fancy restaurant

These are just a few of the things we've done for dates.  I'm so glad we have cultivated our love toward each other over these last 26 years!  Especially as our kids were young.  Not only did it show our kids how to build a marriage but it's also helped us not to be strangers now as we have an empty nest!

What date nights have you all enjoyed? Would love to hear new ideas!

Moving our kids toward being an Adult!

There seems to be an epidemic going on in America today.  Maybe worldwide.  I've seen it time and time again.

Parents not encouraging their kids to grow up.
Parents today are coddling their kids more and more and for longer periods of time.  They aren't expecting anything out of them.  They let them freeload for far too long.
How is this doing a dis-service to our kids?

Well, they won't learn life lessons for one thing.

Teen:  mom I need a ride to so-and-so's house
Parent:  well, I'd love to help you but I've got plans tonight.

So how will poor teenager make it to their friend's house with out the help of the mommy or daddy?

Well, here's an idea... He/she can figure it out!

There's multiple options available to get there if they wanted to, but by the parents taking the responsibility to come up with the plan and implement it-then the kids lose out on a valuable skill!

But how will the poor baby get to work without my help...  well, not my problem!

Kids nowadays need to learn to solve these problems on their own.  Yes, I will help you sometimes, but the kids shouldn't  be entitled to my help just because they live at my house!

In parenting, the goal is to raise kids that are INDEPENDENT!  How are they learning that independence if I'm solving all their problems, washing all their clothes, buying all their food, paying all their bills, cleaning up all their messes??

What kind of lessons am I teaching them by coddling them so much?

Well, I'm teaching them that I don't trust them to make any decisions.

I'm teaching them I don't love them enough to give them room to grow.

I'm teaching them that my role will always be the parent and never change to a peer-to-peer relationship.

But if I  don't make all the decisions for them they will make mistakes!

Yes they will!  And that's where grace in parenting comes in.  We don't hold mistakes over our kid's heads.  We encourage, love, guide and direct them with a loving parenting heart.

Let's help our boys become men and our girls become women who can be responsible human beings!

It starts early on.  From the moment they are born there is a constant letting go.  Please don't stunt your kids' natural growth by keeping them "babies" too long.  Let them do their own laundry, go buy the groceries, help around the house, get where they need to go with money they've earned their selves!

You will be happier and they will be too!

Seasons

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In life there are seasons.  Just as the leaves change and the weather changes, life also ebbs and flows. I remember the days of little munchkins..biting, fighting, constant maintenance.  I thought those days would never end.  It was completely exhausting and somedays I didn't know how I survived!

Those days have passed now.  I'm in a new season.  It's quieter now.  Things are much slower.  I only do the laundry and the dishes about once a week.

But there's perks too.  Last night, my grown son came home and took me to dinner and a movie.  He's the perfect gentleman.  He opened the door for me and delighted me with his conversation.  It was a wonderful evening.

I would never have pictured these days back then.  But they are wonderful!  I'm really enjoying my grown up kids.

Hang in there, moms and dads.  Soon the blistering heat of summer will be over and the coolness of fall will begin.  It happens so quickly too.

Living a Surreal life

Definition---Surreal:  Having the disorienting quality of a dream; unreal; fantastic

My youngest son turned 19 today.  Nineteen!!  My YOUNGEST!  How this is possible I'll never know.  Surreal is a great definition to describe it. In some ways it seems like just yesterday I was chasing them all around, picking up all their messes, changing endless amounts of diapers; but in other ways those days seem so long ago I can barely remember it!

Someone once described the baby stage as the "Longest days, and the shortest years".

That about covers it.

I'm super excited about the paths my kids are choosing.  It seems like they are right on target.  They are in the fields for which they are made.

Larry and I are thoroughly enjoying our little empty nest.  It's really quiet at times.  But we are getting to know each other again.  Learning to enjoy the quiet.  The grand kids stage will be coming soon enough and I look forward to that.

While I may be further ahead on the parenting journey than some, and way behind of others, I would love to share my ups and downs with whomever would like to hear.

If you need encouragement for THOSE days, I can help.  If you need a ear to hear and just let off steam, I can do that.  If you need some advice for some problem that you are facing, I can do my best.

That's what we are supposed to do.  Sharpen each other.  Keep each other accountable.  Spur each other on to love and good deeds.

I know I need it... ALOT.

A-Z guide to all things about me!

It seems a little self indulgent... but  I thought it would be fun to describe myself from A-Z.

A- Accomplisher.  I love to accomplish things!

B- Believer.  First and foremost in my life is the Lord Jesus Christ!

C - Chocolate lover.  I love me some dark chocolate!  The darker the better!

D - Decision maker.  I can usually make a quick decision about things.  Sometimes it goes well.

E - Empty nester.  So we still have one living at home but for all intents and purposes he's grown!

F - Flower planter.  I love to buy/plant flowers!  The taking care of it is the hard part :p

G -Gift giver.  Gifts is one of my love languages.  I like to give them and get them :)

H -Hooper!  I've only been doing this about a year now...but wow!  I love this new experience of hula hooping!

I - Independent.  This can be good and bad.  A lot of times I just think "I'll do it myself".

J - Joyful.  Ok..this is one I continuously work on.  But with the Lord's help I will count it all joy!

K - Knitter.   I just started this too!  I can only knit scarves and dishcloths now but hey it's a start!

L -Laughing.  As the Mary Poppins song goes, "I love to laugh!"  Sometimes it's just me laughing but that's ok :)

M - Mother.  I love my 3 grown young adults!  The time they were in our home just went way to fast.

N - Nature lover.  I love the sky, stars, moon, and all things outdoors.

O - Organizer.  I'm not always this way..but I love to have things organized.

P - Picture taker.  I wouldn't necessarily call myself a photographer..but I do enjoy taking pictures!

Q - Quirky. Some people might consider me quirky.  I'm not sure about that!

R - Reader.  I read at least a book a week at times.  I love to read!  And definately read Scripture daily.

S - Skirt wearer.  I started wearing skirts only about 7 years ago.  Just a personal conviction.  But I wouldn't go back :)

T- Traveler.  I absolutely love to travel and see new things! The world is so big!

U -Unschooler. All my kids are grown but when we homeschooled we tended to unschool.  I love this form of learning!

V -Violin player.  Ok this is in my past but I'd love to pick it up again!

W -Wife.  I've been a wife now way longer than I haven't been one!  (almost 25 years!)

X - Xenial.  I had to search for an "x" word!  But this is perfect!  It means hospitable.

Y - Young at heart.  I really can't believe I'm in my mid 40s at times!  I don't feel old!

Z - Zealous.  When I'm passionate about something it shows!

Would love to hear your comments on any of the above!  How would you describe yourself??  It's really tougher than I thought it would be to come up with something for every letter!  But maybe you know me a little better now :)

Still learning

When I had kids I knew I would be teaching them a lot of things, but I never realized how much 

they would teach me!

I have 3 beautiful young adults now that have taught me many lessons along the way. 

Here's just a few:

Enjoy the moment

Don't worry about going to bed and getting enough sleep when you're having fun!

If you want to accomplish a goal - go for it!

You are never to young or old to start something new

It's good and healing to talk about things 

Stop and spend some time wading in the creek and catching minnows

Laugh and laugh some more

Spending time just chillin' is good

Learn something new and try it!

Getting hurt is part of life

Work hard

Be resourceful - you don't have to do everything the way everyone else does

Be yourself


I love the people my beautiful young adults are becoming.  They show me and teach me in so many ways.  I taught them for years and it's nice to have them shine their lives brightly so that others can see.

What things are you learning from your kids?

The Magical String

I once read a story of a boy that had a magical ball of string.  An old witch gave the boy the string and said to him, "Do not touch it and time will pass normally. But if you wish time to pass more quickly, you have only to pull the thread a little way and an hour will pass like a second. But I warn you, once the thread has been pulled out, it cannot be pushed back in again."

So whenever he didn't wait to wait for something, he would pull a bit of the string and POOF!  time would pass.  He started by sitting in school one day and thought to himself, "Why wait for the day to be over?" He pulled a bit of the string and the day was over!  Then he started pulling the string for larger and larger amounts of time.  Graduating school-Poof!  Done with College-Poof!  Finding a wife-Poof!  Kids-Poof!

Before he knew it, he was at the end of his life and he greatly regretted wasting the string.  He realizes that without the mundane and without the hard times of life, we are just a shell of a person.  He robbed himself of life's richest moments and memories.

I don't have a magical ball of string.  I'm so thankful that I don't!  I would have pulled it far too many times by now.

But sometimes we are "pulling our string"  in other ways.

Can't wait till the weekend.

Won't summer get here?!

When will my baby walk, talk, **insert milestone here**?

Will this day never end!

When will my kids be grown?!

When will I lose this weight??

You get the idea.

My youngest son just turned 18.  Eighteen!!!!  When my kids were 2, 4, and 6 I thought this day would never get here!  I was so focused on the craziness of each day that some days I forgot to enjoy it.  To just sit and read and play.  To soak in every minute!

Time goes way to fast on it's own.  It's not bad to look forward to things in anticipation.  But you never know what God has for you today.  Don't be looking so far into the future that you forget to see what's in front of you.  What opportunities is God placing in front of me right now?  What people are near me now. Don't forget to enjoy the moment.  I look forward to this new chapter in my life!

I will try to not wish away the days.

You can read the full story of the ball of string here.

The toughest job

When you have kids, it often feels like your heart is walking around outside your body.  When they are happy, I am happy.  When they are sad, I am sad.  When they get good news, I feel the joy!  When they are hurt, I hurt too.

How do you handle your very heart outside of your body?  It's so vulnerable and helpless.  It could get squashed at any moment.  It's delicate and fragile.  Yet it's the strongest muscle in your body.

Even though my kids aren't "kids" at all anymore -- I can't believe they are all grown adults!  It still feels like my heart is split in three different directions.

It's weird.  When they are little, your heart is just out there from the get go.  You never knew you could love so much.  They  consume your every waking moment.  You teach and train, love and play.  Yet, they are there beside you.  Your heart is close to you.  

Then as they get older, they start doing their own thing.  I can feel the tug of my heart.  Leaving me. Growing. They are living their lives. They are making decisions and doing things.  Somethings I know.  Somethings I don't want to know.   But my heart!  It's still out there! I can't always "make it better now" with a kiss and a boo boo bear.

My heart has to learn to be ok with things.  My heart has to learn to trust in the One who entrusted them to me.

He has them.  He knows them.  He guides, directs.  I pray and worry and then pray some more.  He has control.  He can hold them, comfort them.

My heart is out there.  In three different places.  My heart is vulnerable.

But it's also multiplied!  I can feel joy 3 times over!  I'm so happy for my kids....ahem.....young adults.

They make my heart happy. Ultimately I trust in the Lord. He holds our hearts.  He keeps me in perfect peace.

Colossians 3:15 

" And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

What did you just say to me??

Ok so this getting older thing is tough.   I've never had any problems with my weight.  But now that I'm in my mid 40s it is really getting difficult!   My metabolism is.....dragging.....so.....slow!

I've been on a kick for about 4 months to watch what I eat.  Not dieting necessarily. But getting back to healthy foods.  I've also been making an effort to exercise.  I've been getting on the treadmill 2-3 times a week.  I've been hooping mostly every day.  I'm super trying!  My job has gotten a lot more stationary  & sedentary so I've tried to make up for that by walking at lunch etc.

It's tough but I feel like I've been making a go of it.   I haven't really lost any weight.  But I've maintained. Hopefully built some muscle up in the process.

I haven't felt great about myself.  But I've felt good about getting back in shape.

And then....

I was at a store the other day and I ran into a person (I wouldn't really say a friend-just an acquaintance).  I hadn't seen her in a long time. And we started chit chatting.

And then she says to me, " So when are you expecting?"

REALLY???

My youngest is almost 18 years old!!

Do I look THAT pooched out??

There are some things that you never EVER say to someone!  And this is on the top of the list!!  Why would this even come out of someone's mouth?  Don't they know the rules of human kind and womanhood??

Well, I just stood there and with a sarcastic voice said, "No, I'm just fat."

I didn't know what to say.

Now all this to say... I know I'm not overweight.  Just above what I'm comfortable with for my body.  I know it'll take some time to lose.  Probably a lot longer than it took to gain!

But people!  Let's watch our words with each other!  One little word can make some ones day or completely defeat them.  Her one little sentence set me back so much mentally and emotionally.

Our words have power.  God gave us the ability to encourage one another!  Let's find the good in people and build each other up!

Choose your words wisely!  You never know what others are going through.

Proverbs 16:24

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

P.S.  Children are a blessing! I'd be happy if I was pregnant--completely shocked-- but happy!  I think it's great to have lots of kids.  And this woman was probably excited about pregnancy --as she was expected a grand baby.  But still!  There are some things that you just don't ask people...wait till they tell you!

Dinner Time Dilemma

Do you ever feel like you can't get things done?  I know you mammas with little kids do!  I was there once upon a time.  You felt like everything you were doing was being undone right behind you!

Well, I've been out of that stage for a while but I still struggle to get things done in a day.  I'd like to start my day by reading God's Word.  Thankfully this has become a great habit and I rarely struggle with getting this done.  I'd also like to get some form of exercise done in the day, whether it be walking or hooping, just something to get moving!  My job is very stationary now so I need that extra push to get up and move!  I've been so-so about accomplishing this.  The only time I have to do this is in the evening.  Our apartment doesn't have laundry in the apartment so we go downstairs to a community laundry room.  On the days that I do laundry, I can get a good walk in either outside or on the treadmill, while I wait for the laundry to finish.

The thing I struggle with the most, I really always have, is making dinner!  I absolutely hate going to the grocery store.  I hate the whole process.  The making the lists, then shopping, then lugging it all to the car, then lugging it all inside, then putting it all away.  Yuck. And I'm really not too fond of cooking either! :o

I can't get inspired to menu-plan for the week.  Then when I get home from work, I'd rather just eat a bowl of cereal or go out somewhere.

Dinner time is the time of day I'm the least hungry.  My family has never been very scheduled so we've never been in a good habit of sitting down together.  Kids are all grown now and it's just me and Larry, so I don't see the point.  No motivation.

I like to eat healthy, so I know it would be better for us to plan our meals at home.  I've looked at all the web sites that you can put in ingredients and it spits out shopping lists for you.  But it just seems like so much work!

My family doesn't complain about it at all.  They've been great scavengers!  I don't know how you mommas do it that have big households!

Well, no resolutions here.  Just something I've always struggled with.  Anyone else?  If you have any thoughts, comment below!  I'd love to hear how you all handle the dinner dilemma.

New Chapters

I went to the park for lunch today.  The only table that was in the sun was next to the playground.  I ate my lunch and sat there watching the mamas and daddies and all the little punkin' heads running around.  On the one hand, it seems like just a few moments ago that I was one of those mamas chasing around three little ones.  Pushing them on the swings, sliding down the slides with them, toting them around in the strollers.  On the other hand, it seems like ages and ages ago.

My youngest will turn 18 in a few months!  I have 3 young adults now.  My oldest is married!  What?  Time sure does fly when you're having fun.   I'm actually loving this stage right now.  I know it's only a few moments till grand kids come along (I can't wait!)  But for now, I'm really diggin' this time of life.

Stuff I love about having older kids:

• They can take care of themselves (physically, sometimes they still need me emotionally)
• They can have great conversations!  Sometimes they hold me to the fire!
• I love to see them growing in their relationship to God and in their relationships to others.
• They are a lot of fun!  They go camping, hiking, bike riding with us and it's tough to keep up with them! Plus, they put up the tents etc! Bonus!
• My honey and I have lots of "date" times together now.
• I love to see their lives spread out before them and choices they make and the paths they choose.

Probably the biggest regret I've had is that we didn't have more kids.  But I am thankful for what the Lord has blessed us with.  I'm thankful for the person that they've made me.  I'm glad for the lessons they've taught me.  I am super blessed to have an amazing family!

Time....

When my kids were little I had no time to myself.  They are all 2 years apart and there were MANY years that were filled to the brim!  Just meeting their physical needs when they were little took up most of my time.  If I wasn't feeding or disciplining someone it was nap time or time for a diaper change.  I always had someone hanging on my legs or needing to be held.  I joked that our house only needed to be 5 square feet because that was where everyone was all the time!  I could barely go to the bathroom alone!  Then came homeschooling, again-no time to myself. Then as they got older there was a little time for an occasional girl's night out or date night.

Well things are completely different now.  With only one kid at home now- and he's practically grown (almost 16!) - I have so much time to myself!  I could have never imagine this!  Now if I want to go for a walk or watch tv or read a book or take a bath...I can!  and nobody interrupts me!

I don't want to sound like I'm bragging.  Because really it's bittersweet.  It's great..but I also miss my babies!  Even though it was a really tough time back then it was a lot of fun too!

It's also tough because I never had to think about who I was or how I spent my time before.  I was just raising babies and doing the best I could!  Now, I don't want to be idle or just waste my time.  I want to glorify God in the things I'm choosing to fill up my day!   All though just being lazy calls my name more days than not.

Moms of young kids---enjoy these days!  They are physically demanding.  The emotional days are yet to come.  But there will be a day you can rest!

Who knows what the future holds...but for now I'm just trying to enjoy my time and not be too lazy :)